Under The Bridge

Time to show what had i actually learned in that month i spent in Holon's Institute of Technology. I'll even forgo the english for it, some things would be quite lost in translation.

אברם גרנט, דיקן הפקולטה, מלמד אותנו יסודות העיצוב:

"יושבים בקבוצות, יודעים מאיפה זה מגיע? מי פה קיבוצניק? אז כמו ברפת - לכל פרה יש מקום משלה".

"המוח שלכם חולק ימינה-שמאלה. גם שלי, דרך אגב."

"יהיו דברים שהסטריפטיז הנפשי יידרש".

,הקומפוזיציות בגיהנום יותר יפות מאשר בגן-עדן".

"זו הפרה של נחום גותמן!!!"

"איזה טעם יש לקרמבולה?"

"you're absolved, נתיז קצת מים קדושים, זה בסדר"

"קשקשים של צב...לצב יש קשקשים?"

[על קרטון דופלקס]"הוא אוהב לעשות את זה, הוא אומר - כופף אותי, כופף אותי!"

[אחרי שעה של הסביר על תבליטים]"אז הבנתם?" תום פ.:"רגע, אז מה זה תבליט?"

"הכובע מצחיה שאני בא איתו לשעור הוא לא תבליט. האף שלי הוא כבר כן."

"בואו נהיה קשתות! בואו נהיה מקושתים!"

"מה שעשית פה...בה"ד 4 מעניין לאומתו"

"כדורגל עשוי ממשושים"

"לא יכול להיות שלא ראיתם את המצנמים המעופפים"

"פירמידות זה לא פרפרים, פירמידות לא מרחפות"

"אפשר להביא כיכר לחם!!!"

מיכה שמחון, מורה לצילום:

"אתם תלמידי צילום, נכון? תכף אשוב." ובורח מהכיתה.

"קוראים לי מיכה שמחון ואני בד"כ לא נראה רטוב".

"אנסל אדמס הוא צלם מאוד נקי. אם היו לוקחים אותו לפסיכולוג, בטוח היו קובעים שהוא אנאלי. דיאן ארבוס אנאלית מהכיוון השני."

"היא נראית כמו מופע דראג של עצמה, רק בלי בית ההומואים."

"היא מצלמת איפה שהיא גרה...היא גרה בגן-עדן".

"אז אתה נידנדת שם את הנדנדות? או היתה שם רוח הקודש?"

"מאיפה התרנגולת? אההה, זה עורב"

"בשחור-לבן אין צהוב!"

איתן עודד, מנחה קורס הסדנה:

"אתם יודעים, סטודנט זה משהו שמשלם כסף, אז צריך לשמור עליהם".

"יקירתי, נרשמת לבית-ספר שבטוח תמותי בו. את תקללי את הרגע בו נרשמת אליו."

"הבעיה היא שבעין אי אפשר לשים אציטון".

"אפשר להדביק הכל עם אפוקסי - נייר לעץ, עץ למתכת, מתכת לבן-אדם"

"וואווה? צ'יוואוואה? פינצ'ר!

"הפינצ'רים האמיתיים, יש להם ויברטור כזה בבטן!"

"אגב, ציצים תמיד פותרים את הבעיה, במיוחד אם המרצה הוא זכר"

בתגובה לעבודה של הדס שעשתה את דמותו של גלעד שליט על מגן דוד:"הוא כמובן אדם איום ונורא...אני לא מבין למה שמת אותו ככה במרכז...יימך שמו...אולי את ימין קיצוני ואני צריך להזמין משטרה..."

מישהו, במחאה:"אבל גלעד שליט הוא..."

איתן:"גלעד שליט?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? חשבתי שזה יגאל אמיר!!!!!"

סטודנטים:

תום פ.:להתבונן באמנות זה לא לומר, יופי, שולחן"

אולגה: "דינמי זה סטטי מעניין!"

יוסי: "יש לי חבר שיש לו חמוס בחדר, אז הוא מריח כמו חמוס, האוטו שלו מריח כמו חמוס, ואמא שלו מריחה כמו חמוס כי היא מנקה אחריו".

מישו, בדרמטיות: "אם היה לי הרצון, אם היה לי הכוח, אם היה פועל עליי כוח F..."

[שיעור טיפוגרפיה מוצלח במיוחד, עם הרבה אותיות מאיימות]:

"יש קנופייה של אותיות שמסתובבות פה ורוצות לתפוס אותכם"

"צ' מסתובבת לי במסדרון!!"

יוסי:"אז כשכתוב בעיתון ש-ש' תקף מישהו, אז זה לא אדם, זו אות?"

דרור המרצה הקירח לאיתי:"אתה מהקבוצה של הבחורים עם השיער" [קנאה פתולוגית מישהו?]

דרור:"מישהו בכוח ניסה להאכיל אותו באות ו'". מזל שלא הבאה ברשימה...

לירן:"כשעברתי לת"א סיפרו לי שמלא אנשים מציצים בחלונות..."

אפרת:"כמו צ' לדוגמא?"

עוד מטיפוגרפיה...

דרור:"זה מרגיש כמו יום שישי ה13 של המנעולים"

סיוון:"חיים לא מוחץ, חיים פשוט יושב"

אפרת:"מי עשה את האות פט?"[PET]

יוסי:"הפונט הזה, סליחה על הביטוי, סקסי"

סיוון לדרור:"עכשיו אתה תהיה נער הפונטים"

דרור:" דוד כבד, מה עושה לכם דוד כבד? קמים בבוקר, פתאום חושבים על דוד כבד." - יוסי:"הולכים לשירותים..." - דרור:"כמובן שיש בקרים של קורן קל..."

דרור:"סת"ם..." - אבי:"כן, סתם..."

מושגי יסוד בתרבות מערב, ד"ר דרור פימנטל:

"קבצנים אלה עמדות לניקוי המצפון"

"תחשבו על המוות!"

"כשאנחנו נולדים, אנחנו hardware שכבר יש בו software."

"רבותיי, אנחנו פה לא בתוך טרנסגרסיה, אנחנו צריכים כלכלה וסדר"

"אם הנפש שלי מודרכת ע"י הסוס הרע..."

"פרויד ניזון מניטשה"

"החוקר שואל את שאלת הלאמה!"

"המכון הטכנולוגי שווה למכון הטכנולוגי, אני שווה לאני, ת"א שווה לת"א"

מישי:"מה, נסחפנו?" - ד"ר פימנטל:"כן, אנחנו סוטים"

פינה מיוחדת ל א.ח.מ.לרנר:

"הוא חדקרן, כמה עטינים כבר יכולים להיות לו?"

"נייר הומו? אהה, נייר כרומו..."

"מה זה הקבר הזה? קבר יושב!"

"זה ממש קל לכתוב ציצי בSMS!"

"הם טיטאנים או משהו? הם אוכלים אחד את השני"

"מוניזם - אמונה במוני מושונוב"

רנדומליות:

עובד בסדנה:"אם לא יוצא, תעשה ביד במסורית"

מסמך אנושי פחות או יותר מצמרר על הלוח באחת הכיתות:"שליש דג ליום".

אני:"Dumb luck? Lumb duck!"

אני:"מי שיחרר אלמנט דיוניסי באודיטוריום?"

גמאני:"אם אני כבר הורסת לעצמי את השמיעה, שלפחות יהיה עם מטאל ולא עם דרמל!"

That's about it. And if more about the good things, there's a guy in my class i've taken to hanging at school with. Although he stinks to high heaven with that smoking habit of his, he's made of lotsa awesome and a little bit of evil, in right measurement. What god isnt evil after all. [Well, apparently the one that get's crucified]. Looks like my pattern of making friends hadn't changed much since age 3, i just find someone i like and stick to her/it/him ad nauseam. Trying to divert it this time, though...finally i'm in a large compay of people who are more or less good, ranging from nice to fantastic, even the girls are pretty cool, something i didnt manage to find all my life. So i'm a bit around everyone, but looks like mostly around Avi, managing to annoy him enough, too. I bet it looks from aside like a typical Great Dane-Chihuahua thing.

In general, i'm managing to annoy a pretty large number of people overall since school started, to different extents. Tomi, for example, didnt take it too hard, but Werther is such a bloody drama queen. Do i give a tail? I'm not entirely sure. Not caring is ubergoth, of course, but sometimes i do. After all, the people in the institute are my new dysfunctional family for the following 4 years, that's more than i can count on any romantic relationship, so better stay on good terms with everyone, despite how much i'm pissed at basics of design homework, bus drivers, and murphy in general. I'm a generally annoying person, that much accepted.

Accomplishing a vow of noncomplaining silence will, of course, be impossible to do cleanly, things are slipping and will slip, what with anticlimaxes and disappointments like having my lovingly crafted projects brutally broken, or Magis not coming...but i think i'll keep trying. The least bloody gratifying mental strain...nobody says things like 'it's so nice you aren't complaining every bloody minute'...that would be a mockery anyway. Keep trying. I'll leave one vent, Rain, if it's any good. He has the skill of sounding caring, abstract, and vague, and it's two-sided, so might as well.

Photo courtesy of Eli. [Yeah, and he's also russian, bloody amazing!!]

The ecstasy on my face is either caused by the visinity of the future's greatest comic artist, or by the fact i was LOLing my head off while the pic was being taken. Probably both.

Ah, it wouldnt be the same without a white donkey.

Weekend was a blast. Magis came here, lols and llamas ensued, and on friday we took the Elcool and went to TA, to the Freeze event. The Freeze is another attempt to become the 51st state, this time by copying some american street event in which a large number people meet up, set an hour:minute, and freeze for 5 minutes.

Which was an amusing idea to accomplish on the bloody hottest day of the week.

[The organizers. Dude on the right really amused me.]

So, sounds dumb? You should've been there.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn56sLyywlQ

The fun that was had was incredimazing. We were quite a lot of people, 50 or more, so the effect was quite strong. Quotes from unsuspecting people included:

'Is this some sort of protest?' 'How long d'you recon they'll hold on?' 'Moooom, why nobody is moving? It's creepy!'

Since nobody of us geniuses thought to freeze in the looking-at-watch position, we were frozen for slightly more than 5 minutes. Only when the organizing freezers started to clap, we unfroze and dispersed. Dispersing meant following Tommy to Dizengoff Center, encountering various DA people and kittehs on the way. [One for adoption, others for euthanasia, probably]

Tommy the black sheep was freaked out by the fact Magis had never been to the Dizi. Well, Tommy is a typical inhabitant of the bubble, for him visiting holon is going south. Still his amazment was very lolsome, especially when he proclaimed that doing a tour of the Dizi is a matter of TA pride. No, not that pride. At frequent intervals, he kept asking 'so how is it so far!?' Lolsheep.

We didnt have as much time as we'd like, since in מדינת הלכה friday buses disappear around 4. Still, the tour was very successful, our black sheep was a good guide. [As for why he's a black sheep - i was amused how his curly black hair and black clothes contrasted with elad's blond ponytail and white shirt - white sheep!].

Considerable time was wasted around comic stands, although they've been at the same stands last week. Cooley agreed to be dragged away only when reminded that ComiCon is next month XD.

Much fun was had a tzomet sfarim, it's amazing how many weird/idiotic books are on display, along with awesome ones. Damn, i want Froud's Faeries ^_^.

Most llamentably, we didnt get to the Faery Forest. And to the Otaku. That leaves a taste for moar!

But just as important, we've been to Tactica. It's a portal to paradise, disguised as a gamer shop. Allows people to come and play there, got the most awesome back room, and all those games i'd love to lay my hands on when i'm 63(:. The owner of the shop is God, equally in disguise, a laid-back, pleasant guy. It's so obvious that he grew tired of this world's stupidity and retreated to the cosy shelter of warhammer and munchkin =] [god on the left, cooly on the right, and holyness between]

Hell yeah!

So we decided to take advantage of the magnificent backroom and play the fluxx magis brought. Pretty silly to play a game that's not from the shop itself, but alas, there was no opened munchkin. So here we see Tommy having trouble concentrating on the cards because we keep poking him, and cooley being mysterious.

Needless to say, magis fell in love with the diziverse just like i did back then. That means we will be back! Muahaha!

After doing a very girly sprint to catch kav 19 back home, mathematician jokes happened, and then they degraded to singing homestar runner songs. Well, cooley did. Hardcore fan, that silly sheep. Then he proceeded to convince magis to come and visit him, and moar fun was had. Cooley is like a king of ashur deja vu - hanging at his place and doing nothing is just as fun as being out and doing things, amazing =P. Soon enough they found themselves playing some bizzare game and i got to read zbeng 14 which i never met previously. Spontaneous tablet art also happened, and being thrown on the bed and talking gibberish. I consider the former to be an integral part of any social event. And fun was had!

After getting back from cooley we decided to go and see the Zohan. The decision was a wise one.

'Are you bionic?' - 'No, i like only girls'

'You don't giggle at the Zohan!'

And of course, the knowlege that in any situation in life, from bad hair day to terrorist attack, hummus is the thing that saves the day!

This was the bestest weekend of recent.

And looks i'm going to get the new puter sooner than later.

I have something about 'XKCD loves the discovery channel'. Haven't seen the ad itself, but that comicpage is the blooping best i ever met.

"I LOVE MOMENTUM. I LOVE THIS BAKERY. I LOVE ENTANGLED SHEETS AND WEIRD PILLOW TALK. I LOVE THE WHOLE WORLD. THE FUTURE'S PRETTY COOL!"

So it've been an interesting week really. With it's fair share of squirrell poo, but nice nevertheless. There was teh Indie day, and teh Ido party, and lots of other crap.

Certain people still don't get the very thick msg that their comments, observations, approvements, and whatnot, is obsolete and unnecessary. Well, i guess i can always erase them when i'm angry, and the rest of the time, well, just giggle at the thickness. Same goes for those who consider this media a proper forum to discuss whatever occurs to them as a result of their chemical imbalance. Because it isn't.

People from the obscure academic past, however, can be a pleasant surprise, as my solid dislike for them subsides after a couple of years of not seeing them being extraordinarily full of themselves. Oblivion is the first step to amity? lol. I can just imagine them fun and nice...ah, the net's a great medium as long as i don't want to fling a hammer into the monitor.

On indie evening, monster corteously suggested his company, but then king of ashur proclaimed that as his subject i ought to come with him and Mer to TA...so i went, even if it was a bit uncorteous on monster's. Well, TA sure made my legs ache, somehow when i'm there it's usually quite a lot of prowling, in horrible zigzags. The light show's been nice, music expectedly stupid but for the spirit of the thing, we danced to it too, carefully avoiding the spray assaults. If i'd bother to get a spray of my own...i'd show the little bastards. Srsly.

Pictures sucked, but it's ok, wasn't much to see anyway. I got a fair share at Ido's bday tho, and am still waiting to steal those other people took.

A world as seen from inside a tree?

Ido is a kusit. We all want a bit of heaven and a bit of Ido.

Happy hogparents!

Lucky i convinced king of ashur to buy the hog, looks like it had some point.

Hila likes it too. Her hedgehog connection is obscure, but well, with Hila i never know. ריז'ק יוז'ק!

The party was awesome, best i've been to for a long time, good chance to meet amazingly lovely people, pure <3, well, 'cept one of them. I love people that are driven. That means Moran, of course. And ricardo&trivin were interesting. And the hog!

I'm unable to decide if i want to write with capitals or not..at times they're just pointless...

Bureaucracy awaits, the unholity trinity of things i won't be assed to remember the english words for, מקדמה, פיקדון, דרכון. If i come to senses quickly about the third one, maybe there'll be a bit of חו"ל for me in the autumn. But most chances not, too many things are going to go wrong. Ah well, i'll settle with going to mitzpe ramon and watching llamas :).

It doesnt really matter where, it matters with whom.

In 5 days the kids that remained to do יג'-יד' are going to the army. Ah, time flies. Or not, it's a stupidly incorrect cliche. Would be amusing to see what became of them, although i suspect that it's not quite the glorious sight, esp. in lilo's case. =\

But i gonna be a student too, soon enough. At least one thing i've done right. And if i ash-ka-ra finish it correctly, it's a degree, and not תעודת הנדסאי at which i can't help but sneer.

This week, whenever cold turkey prevailed and general hell took place, i reminded myself of that happy fact, and it actually managed to cheer me. I could've cast a meeping Patronus with it!

Not so far from a witch really. =]

The general feeling of "I kick ass" is rather rare for me, so whenever it happens, i tend to overdose a bit. Well, don't think it bothers anyone, and if it does, shove it where al-sams la laisa. Fun should be had!

And talking of fun, it's north this week, or i'll commit a murder. Of spaghetti.

SOAD's lead singer has a solo album, which is not bad, but will prolly lose flavor quickly. Mostly it's still power metal, i really can't get how people don't die laughing in front of the mike with those lyrics. And ridiculous [and epic!] as they already are, i tend to hear things that aren't really there.

From a sea of holy cornflakes flies the last winged unicorn!!!