מיומנו של קיוסקאי מטורף

I am so fucking sick and tired of my status in life,

I am actually more than okay right now but yet, I am frustrated as hell, my moods swing from sad to angry and vice versa.

I just feel like throwing up everything I have against the world.

I know it will end soon and I can feel it coming (hopefully March if I get the Visa), there are just too many memories here for me to bear, every day I wake up put on my nice smiley face mask which hide the cross on my back and go to work to answer chats for dissatisfied customers (No, I am not on customer service god forbid, I am still and always will be a tech guy, even when I was making sandwiches in the Kiosk).

I am currently working in a great great company called LivePerson which pays really well with bunch of benefits but I can't seem to get over the things I've been through, I can't shake it off.

I have plenty of things that I love about Israel but what I like more is to get the fuck out of here.

I was always a shy guy, and ever since the breakup it seems I have dug even a deeper hall to bury myself into and I can't seem to get myself out of it, I grow silent when I am near a woman (please don't tell me "what do you have to lose", I know that, but the words just won't come out!), I think I am scarred for life, I have lost 30KG from my weight and I look pretty awesome now but still.... nice guys....

Can anyone loan me a gun?!