So basically, the main conclusion about my lack of time to read is:

Well, it makes me feel (frankly also act..) plain stupid.

Blank

Narrow

Blocked

Stricted

etc.

It also raises incredibly stupid questions such as "geez, should i be saving for a nose job for real or what"?

Although, no concerns for my up-going and rising weight. I have no idea how reading and the last paragraph are connected but surely feels like it. Its not a confession about becoming extremely shallow. Always been, always will be. But never was so up-front about it.

I think we all want to be recognized as the talented, pretty and wise kids, who we really arent. The thing is, there's no traditional recipe for this shit. You have to make up your own. We all want the shortcuts for getting the long term respect. We never learn how unnatural and impossible this is...

Well, until we do -and it's too late.