Don't ask me how my family is doing. Ours is one of two houses on the street not left empty, and yet I'm not even sure my mother knows which one is the safe room (easy, the one with the most junk in it, and the least space to be in should you need to). And goddammit, if that woman puts her palm to the webcam one more time to show me how long her lifeline is, I'll scream.
Don't ask me what I think about Israel's actions. To my surrounding I have to try and justify, and explain that some things have to be done, that you don't negotiate with terrorists, that there is suffering in Israel also, you just don't see it on TV here, that it boggles the mind that an elected government supports the kidnapping of another country's soldiers and for another country to happily jump into the fight and kidnap some more. I always come out as the extremist Israeli, once again accusing the world of being out to get us. To my friends and family I seem to come out as a bleeding heart European (I've actually been told that), because the blood lust and the death ratio bother me. Yes, in a war civilians die. Yes, they operate from inside a civilian population. But 15 of them dead to each 1 of ours? So excuse me, but I have a problem with that. And even if each one of those deaths was justified, it still does not merit joy or gloating for that death, and that bothers me too. So I guess I'm an extremist bleeding heart Israeli European, accusing the world of being out to get us.
Don't ask me about UN soldiers. Yes, I've also heard the stories about the UN helping the kidnappings 3-4 years ago. Yes, I too grew up hearing um-shmum, and whether justified or not, I too am not always so sure they should be there or what exactly it is that they do anyway. But these were unarmed observers. And though I refuse to believe they were purposely targeted, I can believe that they died because somebody just didn't care. Because somebody was given their repeated transmissions and said 'yeah yeah, sure, we'll be careful' and just continued with whatever they were doing.
So if you feel an urge to talk with me about this war, don't. And if you must, know that I will let you talk, because I know that people ask questions so that they get the chance to give their own opinion, but I will not answer. And if I do answer, be satisfied with my laconic answers, because I just don't want to get into it. The only complete and true answer I can give you is that I just want it over. So from now on, leave me alone. I am Switzerland.
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