fuck the easily offended

let's forget about it all

we'll go out and have a ball

if we'll feel lucky we could get in a brawl

and maybe break a jaw

the hands are shook and the deal is made

between the joker and the ace of spades

now's no time to be afraid

if you wanna live to tell what you saw

I won't be fine after you leave

I wasn't better before you arrived

I don't want to feel you on my body

I only wish I had a bigger knife

there's nothing to it but wasting our time

I'm gonna do it cause I don't mind

dunno where I am and I can't feel my lips

I stick my tongue out, feeling blood and bits

it's comes down harsh when it finally hits

I let it slide cause I need the kicks

you are my life, I'm glad to be your whore

the greatest thing you've never felt before

come on in and close the door

do whatever, just give me more

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

I'm getting through

I'm getting through

I can feel, I can breath, I can see, I

I'm getting through

I want you running through my body

take me back to my mother's womb

yes if you have to know I do find it funny

this little vial will be my tomb

I won't be fine after you leave

I wasn't better before you came

I just wish I had a bigger knife

to put me out in my father's name

I wish I had a bigger knife, H. I'm just soft enough.

don't look at me like that, H. I'll come back. I'll always be coming back for you.

love you, H. see you again soon.

04:54 sunday and not an angel in sight.

probably should be getting ready for two more weeks.

two more weeks, and what can I tell myself? that it'll get better? cause it won't.

there's nothing to it. I'm gonna get bored with everything eventually.

it's only fun for a short while. such is everything in life.

sometimes I feel like the only way is to get out while you still can.

I am a murderer just waiting for a reason to come out.

and noone will pay attention again. cause noone pays attention, and I don't want to do anything I'll be sorry about.

it's my life, I only get one chance to do it right.

but I'm doing nothing.

there's no new way to be

my whole life I've been waiting for the right opportunities to come.

waiting, and each and every time I made a step, I've been too late. that's my story, that's the naure of my being.

two years ago I've waited, and I've been damaged, dunno if beyond repair.

it was physical, it was rough. every word was a lie, but one sentence written on a cellphone screen.

one day later, it was a lie.

one was very sincere, only one.

so this time, I was late again, but I'm not gonna stay around to see my arrows fly back at me.

I'm gonna dissappear.

and i'm gonna figure out a plan, a new way to be.

and when the opportunity comes, I will not miss it.

I will not be late. or maybe I will, for it is the nature of my being. and then I will be dead.

I am feeling my way in the darkness, balancing on the edge of a knife.

to create new life, everything must burn.

king crimson - I talk to the wind

Said the straight man to the late man
Where have you been
Ive been here and Ive been there
And Ive been in between.

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

Im on the outside looking inside
What do I see
Much confusion, disillusion
All around me.

You dont possess me
Dont impress me
Just upset my mind
Cant instruct me or conduct me
Just use up my time

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

how many times have you done something that you don't want to do, telling yourself that this is what is expected from you?

"oh well, it's just for a little while, just until I get rich/famous/outta his place/etc."

and what if you wouldn't do what you were told?

would society notice your defection like a rancid slob of meat in the supermarket? would they look at you different? would they dispose of you? would you be alone?

the answer to all of these is probably yes.

the only people who really do all that they want are crazy people, and they are put into mental institutions, where they are well sedated until their free will is all gone.

I am still going with the flow, spontanious as I am trying to be, because I am afraid of being alone.

I wish to dispose of my old habits, I wonder how and where to start and am I just crazy or am I right?

I think I'm a genious, but I'm probably just crazy.

I'm not going to change the world anyway.