כל העולם במה ואנחנו השחקנים הראשיים

Act One, Scene One

With the expository material explained through the use of a magazine article, Sheridan Whiteside, confined to a wheelchair, is rolled out of the library, his temporary quarters, into the Stanley living room. He intends to sue Ernest Stanley for $150,000 as well as occupy his home for the time required to heal.

Through the minutes Whiteside continues to insult everyone, including Dr. Bradley, Miss Preen, Ernest Stanley, his wife Daisy and teenage children Richard and June, and even his secretary of 10 years, Maggie Cutler. Maggie, however, is used to Whiteside's tirades and performs her duties with tact and reliance. Dr. Bradley also gives a manuscript of his memoirs to Whiteside, hoping the Whiteside will give some positive feedback on the book.

Whiteside is later met by the eerie Harriet Stanley, Mr. Stanley's sister. She presents him a holly branch as a present. Whiteside, though taken aback by her bizarre nature, is convinced that he has seen her before.

Whiteside is next met by a young newspaper editor Bert Jefferson. Whiteside, though initially disdainful of the newspaperman, soon respects Jefferson's brave charm and permits an interview. Whiteside explains that he cannot wait to leave Mesalia, and that he is a paid authority on famous murders. This information is highlighted by a luncheon for prisoners who will soon be entering the Ohio-based Crockfield Home For Paroled Convicts, a facility which Whiteside has supported financially for over five years. Before the prisoners arrive, an old friend of Whiteside's makes a surprise appearance: Professor Adolf Metz, the world's greatest entomologist. Metz has ped by to give Sheridan Whiteside a terrarium filled with 10,000 cockroaches. The guests are ushered into the dining room by the butler, John, to a lunch prepared by the cook, Sarah.