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You Know You’re Obsessed With Sesshomaru When…
1. You start thinking about him at the oddest moments (like when you’re supposed to be taking a math test).
2. There are moments where you feel like you just have to shout “Sesshomaru!” or you’ll burst.
3. Not a day goes by where you haven’t though about Fluffy for at least a second.
4. You always bring him up in a conversation at least once or make some obscure Sesshy reference.
5. You beg your parents to take you to an anime convention to meet Sesshomaru.
6. They say no, and since you still have yet to get your driver’s license, you must walk to the convention even though it’s like ten states away.
7. You end up staying home and writing this list.
8. You try drawing red stripes and a blue crescent moon on your face, only to have your parents tell you to cut it out unless you want ink-poisoning.
9. You use his quotes all the time (i.e. you greet your friends by saying, “Good morning, how are you?” and before they can respond go, “Not that I care, I’m just curious.”).
10. You openly admit that you’re crazy about Sesshomaru to friends, family, and random people on the street.
11. You try to forge yourself a sword, but end up scorching your hands and nearly burning your house down since you have no clue as how to forge blades.
12. After your little “Totosai-Wannabe” incident, you decide it’s safer buy one of the cheap, plastic swords at the Dollar K Market.
13. You name your “blade” Tenseiga.
14. Now whenever you see someone with a paper cut (or equally trivial injury), you proceed to “heal” them by screaming, “Tenseiga!” and whacking the unfortunate victim repeatedly with your plastic sword until having to be physically restrained.
15. You find yourself absent-mindedly humming “Fukai Mori” in the shower.
16. You think “Fukai Mori” the best song ever written.
17. You annoy your friends by constantly singing it.
18. First in English.
19. Then Japanese.
20. And finally a mix.
21. You sing “Fukai Mori” at least once a day (it’s like your hymn).
22. You have been told more than once by your friends that if you bring up Sesshomaru again they are not going to speak to you.
23. You think you would make a better servant than Jaken.
24. You think Rin is the luckiest b*#!? in the world because she gets to travel all over hell’s half-acre with the world’s sexiest demon.
25. You then feel rotten for being spitefully jealous of a little girl.
26. You decide Rin’s not all that bad since she’ll obviously be of no threat to your romance with Sesshomaru.
27. You name all your pets Sesshomaru / Fluffy to keep his name sacred.
28. The vet is constantly asking how to pronounce your dog’s name, Sesshomaru.
29. You think Sesshomaru is the hottest yokai ever (animated or otherwise).
30. You have memorized all of Sesshomaru’s lines.
31. And when you watch the anime you repeat them verbatim.
32. You watch all of the scenes with Sesshomaru in slow-mo.
33. Whenever the camera gets a close-up of his face you kiss the T.V.
34. You scream, “Sesshomaru-sama!” when he shows up.
35. You have to choke back tears when that InuYasha jerk hacks off his arm.
36. You cheer when the tables turn in Sesshomaru’s favor.
37. Your friends ask, “Why do you like Sesshomaru? He’s the bad guy.” You then spend the next half-hour giving a moving testimonial on Sesshy’s behalf.
38. You have sharpened your nails down to fine points so they are now talons.
39. When you’re at the mall with your friends and they ask if you saw the cute guy over there, you just blankly nod because you were too busy drooling over the (outlandishly expensive) Sesshomaru poster in the next store over to notice.
40. You give your own nicknames to all the characters of “InuYasha.” Sesshomaru is “Fluffy,” InuYasha’s “Fuzzy-Eared Jerk,” Kagome is “-out Tart,” Rin’s “Girl I Wanna Switch Lives With,” and Jaken’s “Mutilated Kermit.”
41. You write your own Sesshy fan-fictions/gag-comics. With you in them.
42. Is it any wonder how you can impress your history teacher with all your knowledge of Sengoku Jidai? Hint, hint: the demon with the fluff encouraged a more than healthy interest.
43. You live in hope that someday they’ll write a part into the script where Sesshomaru gets a girlfriend and you get to be her.
44. Every time Sesshomaru comes on the screen you go into a fatal daydream about how someday he’ll whisk you away with him to his castle in the Western Lands.
45. You dye your hair silver, turn your bed sheets into a kimono, draw those long sought after stripes and crescent moon on your face (screw the poisoning), grab your plastic Tenseiga, and dub yourself “Sesshomara” (as calling yourself Sesshomaru is a guy’s name and you want to be a female version so he’ll seek you out).
46. Your parents wonder if your “fixation with a cartoon character” is truly healthy and consider calling the white coats on you.
47. You defend your mania by saying how it’s no different than how the twits at school get crushes on stupid celebrities.
48. You carry a picture of the Western Lord in your wallet and try passing him off as your boyfriend to complete strangers who couldn’t care less.
49. Meanwhile, your friends apologize to the public and say you just took your meds.
50. You think one-armed, fluff-toting, eye-shadow-wearing, pointy-eared guys with long silver hair, poisonous talons, fangs, magenta facial stripes, and blue crescent moons on their foreheads are unbelievably hot!
51. You want to steal Sesshomaru’s fluff in hopes that he’ll come looking for you and make you his servant.
52. You tell all your friends about your plan.
53. They tell you to get a life and find a “real” boyfriend.
54. You tell a new friend all about Sesshomaru and because he/she has never heard of “InuYasha” they think you’re talking about a “real” person.
55.When a guy at school says Sesshomaru looks like a girl, you don’t lose your cool, but instead calmly correct the confused lad. And by “calmly correct” I mean kick him in the Garden of Good and Evil.
56. You try performing Sessh’s fighting techniques in the hallways at school, trip on your shoelace, and end up looking like a bigger idiot than usual.
57. Your computer’s desktop is a picture of Sesshomaru, the screensaver displays his name, and everything is now “Sesshified.”
58. Your computer announces, “Die, InuYasha,” when you turn it on.
59. You have a dartboard with InuYasha’s face on it.
60. You’ve read this far down the list and still have tons more to go.
61. Whenever someone cuts in front of you in line you hiss, “Die, mortal.”
62. When the school bully corners you, you go into Sessh-mode and yell, “You worthless, vile human! Why do you even exist?! Curse you!” Afterwards, you whip out a green marker, color your palm with it, and hiss, “Poison claws!” If that doesn’t do the trick (and why shouldn’t it?), you punch his teeth down his big, ugly throat.
63. Whenever you’re in a tight spot you ask yourself, “What would Sesshomaru do?”
64. You friends comment on your listlessness at school, but little do they realize how lively you become when you get home and reiterate your day to the shrine of Sesshomaru you have in the back of your closet (candles and all).
65. You would kill for a Sesshomaru plushie/action figure, but think better of it because you don’t want to “sully your hands with the blood of petty humans.”
66. You’re too poor and jobless to afford a plushie and have to make your own.
67. You tell your plushie about your day at school and how you told your friends, “Last night, I slept with Sesshomaru! And it was great!”
68. You twitch in annoyance when other people spell Sesshomaru’s name differently.
69. You go around searching for other Sesshomaru fans in your city in hopes of forming a fan club for him.
70. To your immediate horror you find out you’re the only Sessh fan in miles.
71. Later you’re relieved since finding other fans means you’d have to share Fluffy.
72. You write Sesshomaru’s name on a lei (Hawaiian flower necklace).
73. You where the lei and tell your friends you got lei’d by Sesshomaru! (Get it?)
74. You make weird jokes only Sesshomaru would get with your friends.
75. They now have to go back to telling people you just took your meds.
76. When you go shopping for your friends, you end up finding stuff Sesshomaru would like more than anything for your friends.
77. Having out-grown Barbie dolls, you covert your former play things into the cast of “InuYasha.” Some dolls lose/gain hair, the Magical Doll House becomes Sesshomaru’s castle where there is an ever waging war between Ken and Eric, the sons of Inu no Taisho, and Kikyo’s been dismembered and roasted over a candle.
78. When you and your otaku friends are eating lunch in the cafeteria, you take on the names of the characters from the “InuYasha” show and you’re always Sesshomaru.
79. As you’re discussing the matters of the feudal world, “InuYasha” and “Shippo” get into a heated debate over the topic of Sesshomaru and pedophiles, and the conversation ends with “Miroku” kicking “InuYasha” where the sun don’t shine.
80. You plan on making your own “InuYasha” version of Monopoly. The little metal dog marker is Sesshomaru (naturally), Boardwalk is Naraku’s Castle, Park Place becomes InuYasha’s Forest, and Totosai is Mr. Monopoly.
81. You insist on taking your Sesshy plushie with you when you have to sleep over a friend’s/family member’s house.
82. You talk to your wall pretending it’s Sesshomaru.
83. You parents finally succumb to your pestering and buy you a Sesshomaru action figure.
84. But your parents give a long excuse saying they’re only doing this “because you’re a good kid” and that they’re not endorsing your obsession.
85. You religiously pet the fluff of the figure, dance around it, and sing hymns to it.
86. You ask for its blessing before your final exams at school.
87. You make your own Sesshomaru fan T-shirt. To heck with the copyrights.
88. InuYasha is the new nickname of your whiny little brother who always complains that you’re taking his stuff.
89. You have elaborate dreams about you and Sesshomaru.
90. Whenever you hear a song you mentally make-up a music video of you and Sessh.
91. You often sport a bored expression and show little regard for human life.
92. You have carved Sesshomaru’s name into almost all your possessions (i.e. your eraser, bars of soap, etc.).
93. And have scrawled Mrs. Sesshomaru on your notebooks.
94. It’s late at night and still you type this.
95. You refuse to use your left arm.
96. You plan on learning Japanese, so that when you do meet Sesshomaru you will be able to converse with him in his native tongue.
97. You have enough Sesshomaru gag-comics to make a graphic novel.
98. A notebook is always at hand when you watch a Sesshomaru episode so you can write down any clues to the motives of the mysterious daiyokai.
98. When your friends demand to know who you would save in a life-or-death situation (them or Sesshomaru) and have your hand on the Bible, you have to say, “Can I get back to you on that?”
99. You go to thrift shops looking for armor like Sesshomaru’s.
100. You’ve read this far down the list (that’s a yes to obsession for everyone so far).
101. When an idiot calls Sesshomaru “a gender-confused weirdo” or remarks, “I wish InuYasha would just kill Sesshomaru already,” you scream, “Take it back, knave!” fly across the room, clamp your hands around their neck, and then…well, everything just gets hazy from there.
102. You tease Sesshomaru about his fluff; “Oh, Sesshy, you look so dashing and handsome in your fluff!”
103. You fling anything fluffy over your right shoulder that will stay there.
104. You can’t sleep at night because you’re busy fantasizing about your future with the Killing Perfection and how cute your hanyo children will look.
105. You practice drawing yourself as a dog-demon and tell your friends this is how you look as Sesshomaru’s girlfriend.
106. They think you’re crazy and tell you to grow up.
107. You pity those who don’t have Sesshomaru in their lives.
108. And yet you wish Sesshomaru was a lesser known anime character so you could have him all to yourself.
109. You draw your own Sesshomaru poster and pledge your allegiance to it.
110. Before you go to bed at night you give a good-night kiss to his poster.
111. When you finally get your own car, you plan on slapping on those homemade bummer stickers on it that read, “I © Sesshomaru!” or “My other car is a dust-cloud.”
112. You wish you had a time-travel well so you could go back to Sengoku Jidai to look for him.
113. You tell your friends that no matter how much they protest, they ARE going to be in your Sesshomaru fan-fictions.
114. As revenge, your friends have written their own fan-fics that include you dressing up in a Sesshomaru costume, making-out with any reflective surfaces (mirrors, computer screens, etc.), and saying, “God, I love myself!” every few lines.
115. You receive an e-mail with regards to Sesshomaru and think, “Oh my God! A Fluffy sighting! He does exist!”
116. Every time you have to say the number ten (like when you’re doing reps in P.E.), you have to suppress the urge to add “-seiga.”
117. Your friends ask why you don’t cut your hair and your response is that you’re planning to grow it out to be as long as Sesshomaru’s!
118. When you find a white hair on your head and your friends tease you that you have premature graying, you proudly exclaim, “No, I’m just turning into an inu-yokai like Sesshomaru!”
119. You then scourer your head for more white hairs.
120. When you don’t find any more you are only slightly disappointed because you know the metamorphosis takes a while.
121. When someone at school wears a fuzzy sweater you are compelled to pet it and go, “Fluuuuffy,” until your friends (who are now used to the routine) come to drag you away and remind everyone that they plan on having you evaluated soon.
122. You walk into a room and ask, “Where’s Rin?”
123. Your friends tell you to lay off the comfort food because you’ve just seen an episode where InuYasha beats the snot out of Sesshomaru with his Wind Scar.
124. Your friends are shocked as how just the mention of Sesshomaru’s name brings you out of the worst fits of depression.
125. Your kin avoid using his name like the plague. (You: “Didja hear the latest Sesshomaru news?” Them: “Oh? You mean What’s-His-Face? You’re still obsessed with him?”)
126. When you get contacts, you order the amber ones with slit shaped pupils.
127. Should a herd of mortals ever be foolish enough to block your path you say, “Make way,” and when they don’t, you slash at them with the second plastic sword you got for ninety-nine cents at the Dollar K Market (Tokijin) and yell, “I said, ‘MAKE WAY!’”
128. You stand-up for your little brother and then try to kill him.
129. You dress your iguana in a brown kimono and call him Jaken.
130. When the Debate Club is looking for a topic, you volunteer to rally for Sesshomaru in a “Who’s Bettter? InuYasha or Sesshomaru?” debate.
131. When you play an “InuYasha” RPG (Role Playing Game) you always play as Sesshomaru.
132. In an RPG you name your character “Sesshomaru,” “Sesshygrrl,” or “Fluffy.”
133. You get choked up over the father-daughter relationship between Sessh and Rin.
134. You have put a down-payment on a castle in Japan.
135. You absolutely love the complexity of Sesshomaru’s character.
136. You have spent countless hours trying to decipher the latest Japanese issues of the manga that have yet to hit the American market.
137. Unfortunately, all you “translate” is something about Sesshomaru saying, “This Sesshomaru slaughters Theater Basement with this Sesshomaru’s Fighting Ogre Soul.” (Which should really be, “I, Sesshomaru, will slaughter Naraku with my Tokijin.”)
138. You then stumble upon adinuyasha.com and think it’s a godsend.
139. Now you religiously check the Net for the latest Sesshy news.
140. You give the local locksmith your dog’s left fang and tell him to forge you a blade that can slay one hundred demons.
141. You later come back with a sliver of same fang and go, “Now make one that can save a hundred souls.” (As if the first task wasn’t impossible enough.)
142. You plan on naming your future child Sesshomaru.
143. You have dubbed InuYasha fans as “Blind Fools” and Naraku lovers as “Close, But No Cigar.” (Sesshomaru fans are, of course, “The Most Enlightened People on the Planet.”)
144. You beg your friends to print out Sesshomaru’s picture for you since you’ve run out of ink getting others.
145. You throw a fit when they don’t.
146. And smother them in love when they do.
147. You go to the local animal shelter and ask for an adoptable fluffy, white dog so you can name him Sesshomaru. (What else?)
148. You make up your own Sesshomaru quizzes.
149. You play the “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” game in regards to Sesshomaru with every hapless flower that happens to be in your vicinity.
150. You squeal with joy when you get a yes knowing it was simply “meant to be.”
151. And you curse the fates, grinding the stupid piece of foliage into the ground when you get a no and decide to go ask your trusty Magic 8 Ball instead.
152. You spend a ridiculous amount of money on DVDs because they have Sesshomaru on them (of course, you can never spend too much on Sesshy).
153. You beg your parents to get cable so you can watch the series even though it comes on at an ungodly hour.
154. Everyone asks you why you bother watching the end credits of “InuYasha” even though you didn’t watch the episode. Isn’t it obvious? Sesshomaru’s in them!
155. You ask your parents to sign you up for kendo classes at the Y so that when Sesshomaru does descend on his pink dust cloud you can give him a decent match.
156. As an April Fool’s Day prank, one of your friends dresses up as Sesshomaru and freaks out when you try to kiss them. (Idiot, what’d they expect?)
157. Someone does the dress-up to intentionally get the same reaction and instead you slug them saying, “Moron, you’re not my Sesshy!”
158. Everyone knows what to get you for Christmas/your birthday (anything remotely related to a certain daiyokai).
159. You’ve adapted Sesshomaru’s philosophies. For example, “Life is full of suffering. Deal with it.” And, “You’ll always be ringed by idiots. Deal with them some of the time.” (Deep.)
160. Sesshomaru’s phrases have inadvertently helped you, like when you were taking your English finals and a question asked what the Latin root word spectros meant with one of the choices being “to see,” but you weren’t sure. Anyways, you remember the time in the third movie where Sessh says, “Takemaru, can’t you see you’re only Souga’s puppet? What a miserable specter (as in sight),” thus confirming your answer and making the difference between an “A” and “B” on the final.
161. Your family/friends/random strangers on the street know you’re obsessed (and borderline psychotic) about Sesshomaru.
162. They all tell you to get help and are preparing to sign you up to meet Dr. Phil.
163. You no longer eat human food, but have switched to dog kibble.
164. You regularly make sacrifices of kibble to the Sesshomaru shrine in the back of your closet mentioned in #64.
165. You know it’s going to be a dark, dark day when Kagura shows up on your doorstep because you have every intention of sending that wind demon hussy, who shamelessly throws herself at Sesshomaru, to the abyss.
166. You do almost everything in Sesshomaru’s name (i.e. I do all my sit-ups in P.E. so Sesshomaru will one day notice my wonderful physique).
167. You replace the names of the protagonists in romance novels/movies with yours and Sesshomaru’s.
168. Every so often you refer to yourself in third person. (ie. “I, (your name), etc.)
169. You address your father as chichi-ue (Japanese for “father” and what Sesshomaru calls his father). As for your mom, you sigh and ask, “Haha-ue (mother), why did you have to be human?” (As if your father wasn’t.)
170. You demand that everyone attach the suffix of “-sama” (Lord/Lady) to the end of your name when they address you.
171. You order everyone to add the honorific suffix of “-sama” to Sesshomaru’s (beautiful) name when they speak of him (if ever).
172. Of course, you always add “-chan” to his name in your fantasies where you’ve had his hanyo children (for the ignorant, -chan is a suffix of adoration and cuteness).
173. Instead of counting in “hippopotamuses” (like when you’re waiting for an egg to boil), Sesshomaru’s name has become your new counting device.
174. When a radio station opens its lines for shout-outs or request love songs, you call in for Sesshomaru.
175. You leap for joy after finally hunting down the Sesshomaru single “Gou.”
176. You hum it, and eventually learn to sing it, for days on end.
177. You force your friends to listen to “Gou,” and they complain because you just barely got off that “Fukai Mori” kick.
178. Your friends have been threatened within an inch of their lives after remarking, “Sesshomaru’s singing voice isn’t all that.” (Tone-deaf morons the lot of ’em!)
179. You have composed your own songs in honor of Sesshomaru.
180. You’ve written to Rumiko Takahashi-sensei and asked for an original sketch of Sesshomaru (unfortunately, no response to date).
181. Your friends have to gag you when they watch an action movie (particularly ones like The Last Samurai) because you’re always giving commentary on how Sesshomaru would have killed so-and-so faster and with more style.
182. Your neighbor’s little fluffy, white dog, which has been named after an indigestible pastry (ie. Muffin, Cupcake, etc.), avoids you like the plague because when you’re not wearing out its fur with your constant petting (imagining it’s Sesshy’s fluff), you’re demanding to know if it has any relation to or knows the whereabouts of Sesshomaru.
183. You have a pair of ankle-high black boots.
184. You would trade your car for a flying, two-headed dragon-horse.
185. When you buy new manga you make sure it’s a 1:1 ratio of Sesshomaru and whatever else you’re purchasing.
186. You own all of the “InuYasha” manga and movies featuring Sesshomaru.
187. At school, everyone knows who you’re thinking of by the ridiculous grin plastered on your face (but the oblivious teacher is pleased with your enthusiasm).
188. You growl when frustrated.
189. Your stomach flutters when you see a picture of Sesshomaru.
190. You daydream about how Sesshomaru would react in your era. And you in his.
191. One glance at any manga scan/screen cap of Sesshomaru and you immediately know the episode, where he was, and what he was saying at the time.
192. You have accidentally called drawings and pictures of Sesshomaru photos.
193. Your friends come over for an all-out get-together at your house and when they ask what the occasion is you wildly shout, “Sesshomaru just got his left arm back! WHOO!”
194. You’ve read this whole list in one go.
195. You never get sick of rereading this file.
196.Your parents tell you to stop wasting ink when you print this out to add your own two cents on the sides.
197. You have had a friend/family member/total stranger on the street read this list,
only to be told, “You are sick!”
198. You’ve read this list and it describes you!
199. You wrote/enjoyed reading/contributed to/copied this list-
200. And you still can’t get enough Sesshomaru!
