First i discovered life as it is, than i tried to operate the random weird people who used to take a deep breath before they got into their house. lots of people i knew never wanted to go back home after work, but you know, they hated work as it is, the burden hours when they meant to get to work with their car, the fake smiles that their boss smiled to them while giving them ainother pack of heavy pages.
they used to say: HELLO WORLD without greating the world at all.
they used to hide under their roofs shadow from the soft morning who ordered their eyes. they did'nt like any of this situations, that's why lots of them commited their suicide so very soon, meanwhile, there were the one's who chose to live called them cowerds and chickens.
and they could never remmember the softness of the wind blowing in their hair, and the smell of the plants in their garden yards, or their wife's touch on their faces, the thing is: that they never missed it, even not for a few kisses she made them to regret about the day that they've born.
and they heard the drums cracking their ears slowly, trumbeling hits of death, and they never really wanted to recognize, no recognizing at all. and the tips they earned who meant nothing for the rest of them, were heaven upon earth... some of them used to dream about angels in their human size who blooming feathers all over their beds, just like a dream coming true for them.
They certainly had some ebb ideas of ways to manageing the humen lives. Piece by piece they gathered, meeting the rest of the mob in little coffee shops down town, smoking light ciggarets, and talking about the latest percents of the economy. they wanted it to be boring, they wanted to fit in to eich other and they were afraid to be different, The very few people who were different were beaten. the coffee-shop's people were harass them and cut them to small pieces by their tongue.
Those different and unique persons loved the streets, they used to through some few cents to the man who played saxophone in the very dark corner of the coffee shops street.
they used to listen to music and dance and fly, they had wings of freedom, they were total free and they loved the gifts and roads life gave them.
Imagine to yourself, they used to say, until they flow away the world, sometimes they could choose it sometimes it just happen, but they never lost their wings, Never.
i quick removed my emotions, and gave up love, some used to call me crazy, but i knew that the value of being a 'normal person' means nothing in the real world.
i discovered very fast that love is simply a chemical emotion, and that feeling never step through my door before...
imaging totally caring world, and memories that people keep looking for ages who just winding with the time.
Darkness fading me when im trying to speak, i hear nothing but screams of war, i smell nothing but rotting minds who forgot how home looks like.
i never felt sorry for them, they never loved what they're doing, but they never had a reasonable solution for peace.
i also used to think that peace is just a pack of pieces of shit that people invented for giving the world something to hang on, it's a simple example of what people inventing to get their quiet, they can kill lots and come back home to their be loving family, but they're dying inside. they can't think right, they can't speak, they're staring on, wishing her life goodbye, they can forgive but they will never forget.
babies weeping, drifting their tears on their mother's dress, she always knew that this time will come, the great war of our time, she just chose to ignore it.
she also had life, and kids, and a loveable husband who went to work every morning and escaped from his own truth, she liked her life, she always adored her strength to see behind the happiness, she never was pessimistic, and she would never be, and when i say that she saw behind it, i mean that she saw the beauty in every crisis in life, no matter how horrible it was she always found a way to remain to herself that she will get out of it, she always whispered to herself to stay patient as she is, she never wanted to change, she was horrible.
im looking at the baby, hes laying down near me, grabbing my toes and drinking his mother's milk, and when i'm calling his name hes turning his head around and looking into my eyes, in this important spot in my life i figured out how miserable he is, and when his brother smiling to him from above he feels so tiny and weak, so much for his happy ending.
i would never want to go back, and i got to the spot that i can admit that im hanging on people, just like a little doll, i grabbed him hard and did'nt wanted let go never... but, i guess i can live without him, i just need the unimportant talk once in a while, i dont need love, i told you before and ill tell myself again, there is no such thing, and even if there is, i dont care..
a heaven slept out in a days, and i havent been here many times, i just dont know what im doing wrong, can you lead me until my right road will appear?
i don't need help, i decided to be an asshole and hit the coffee shop's people, and when they hit the flash, my mission is to hit them back

I swear i'd change for you

just give me one chance

to get Closer