Chronicles of a Shewolf

I wanna be clueless. For a while, I don't wanna be the steady rock everybody leans on, the voice of reason. Want to disappear without explanations, define myself weak and revel in it. Stop going to work for a month without any notice. Spend all of my pay check. In one day. Cancel plans at the last minute without any reason. Then get away with it just for the sake of "having a rough period" and an innocent smile. Being emotional without the aftertaste, cry for a week without anyone telling me to get over myself. Start the car and drive aimlessly in the middle of the night, then go to sleep in it at the other side of the country without being afraid of burglars or rapists. Staying up for a whole night, just so. Taking the next flight with a one-way ticket anywhere, then return when I'm bored. Pretend I'm someone else and stay with the story for a day. Break things. Eat shit without counting calories. Write without fearing who might read, sing without fearing who might hear. Not feel ashamed when someone says I'm just too loud. Wear extra short clothes without trying to cover. Do something dangerous. Punch someone in the face without feeling sorry. Get a photo shoot without feeling ugly. Get punched in the face and laugh about it. Stop worrying for everything and everyone, then worry that I might get sick if I worry too much. Dance in a storm. Get drunk without a memory to tell. Have sex in a really weird place. Live a little. Die a little. Lie a little. Stop being so responsible, stop feeling the weight on my shoulders. Do something utterly silly like a flash mob. Stop feeling like someone's mom, stop feeling like "the man". Be the teenage girl I never were and never will be.