I keep buying all the false promises and they just end up disappointing me.
I keep trying to convince myself and hold on to my childish, irrational expectations.
They do not exist.
He does not exist.
The perfect image that I envision in my mind is,plain and simple, false
And I divide them into little groups, telling each one only bids,
each one is keeping a different secret of my personality. Him, I can tell that. Her, I can tell this.
And they all think I'm such a wonderful person, but I know I'm not.
They believe it all and don't realize how fucking rotten I am inside. How hollow.
I'm terrible. Why can't they see that?I don't deserve anything.
It's all just too much for me. I've built this ideal world in my mind, and everytime I wake up to understand it does not exist, I'm devastated.
I can't accept anything for the way it really is. Including myself.
And the only person whom I need the most right now...
Well, is very far away (Yes, it's you N. I love you
Give me reason, but don't give me choice.
My reflection bothers me.
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