כי אם אני לא אכתוב מי יכתוב?

What is the use of great potential without purpose, what good is capability without the desire to act?

Imagine if you would.

As the passing of hours accumulates into the days of your life, you find that all that you are all that you have done was without one single true ambition; there was not one desired outcome for all that trouble and bother.

This state, as simple as it may seem is almost incomprehensible to you I know. You who have dreams, desires, ambitions, you who strive, you succeed and you fail, but you are defined, you have purpose.

It is worst now than it ever was before, all is lost, even my dream to one day have a dream is no more. I no longer possess the meager ambition to one day awaken a man who knows he has function. How I wish I could simply float as a mindless leaf upon the great indifferent waters of life. Let the currents guide me to my destiny. Let great fortune, mediocrity or miserable demise come. I shall embrace it.  But alas I cannot, I am no mindless object, nor am I light enough to be content to have the wind pilot my course. I cannot swim, even on the calmest of days I sink like a stone if I do not struggle, and for what reason need I suffer so?

To understand this is to know my plight, my torment. Be thankful my seemingly unimpressive circumstances are not yours to endure…

Be thankful that you maintain an illusion of importance. It is a drug of life, the lack of which poisons the soul.