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I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE

Oh I've got big balls
repeat

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

Oh I've got big balls
repeat

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker