Meanwhile, In The Middle Of Nowhere

let me down

and my flaws are too overwhelming, to the point where my surroundings  keep pointing them out to me, without knowing how weak this spot of mine is and how painful is it for me to just contemplate them, how remembering each and every one of them makes me blink frequently, trying not to cry.

and i REALLY should be going to sleep by now because getting up in the morning has gotten much too hard and falling asleep keeps getting even harder.

and i don't even know what's gotten me to write in english, maybe it's change i need- maybe the only way i can now confess the fact that i'm actually not okay is by stepping out of my routine of writing about my days and stating my self convinced false fine current condition.

this is stupid.