I should have put it all down in writing while it was still fresh, but I suppose I've been putting this off mostly because I carry its significance with me at all times now, and the details are interesting but not important. Admittedly I lack the proper vocabulary to describe this experience. Perhaps the most suitable word would be ineffable, but also humbling, reorganizational and intense. It was a collision with this beautiful state of consciousness, after which it becomes not just a memory, but a reference point. So here's what I've learned

Just be here now. Be present, recognize what I was previously disposed to overlook and I would no longer feel like life is a highway and I'm driving with no mirrors

Hope is the major source of misery. The moment you accept things as they are you don't need to hope anymore, because where you are is kind of ok. Hopelessness sounds really rotten when you haven't explored just how much you've been using hope as a flaw

Listen. Listening requires a little bit of mindfulness. How much time do we spend in those fugue states. Listening is what grounds us in the present moment

I was living through discursive judgement, reactivity and self-talk. I was constantly angry, depressed, confused, unloving and my attention was elsewhere. So no matter how much I achieved or who was in my life- I couldn't enjoy it. For years I used to walk around with this weight on my chest that was always there, as though someone was pressing their foot over me 24/7. The trip started with a great intensification of this feeling, it felt like my chest was about to crush under all this load. The amazing thing is that now it's all gone and I am infinitely lighter

:And finally, I am left with two questions

We are wired for this- it's a biologically possible process. What is the meaning/function of it then? Is meditation and mindfullness the non-pharmacological way of achieving a sustained state of this kind of well being? I'll make sure to find out