What are we doing here?

I need you to tell me. Because I want to move on, I really do. But I can't because you're always in my head, always. So if I want to move on, if I want great life like I think i deserve, I need to know. because even that I'm telling myself that we're just friend, that it's okay, that I don't need you to be happy as I hoped, even when I keep telling myself that I don't love you, I love you . and it hurts like a bullet that strikes right in the center of my heart. It hurts like a knife that stabbed in my chest, like a car that smashed my entire body to pieces.

and I can't handle that. I just can't. so I need you to tell me, before I'll lose my mind, before I'll break myself to pieces, before I will be so sad that I won't know who I am anymore