She lost all purpose and felt that it was time to try and find it in another place. This cruel cycle keeps getting back at her, all comfort she ever had comes to an end at one point. She thinks about what seems obvious, she probably could find it along the streets of a european city. Fresh air in the winter, cold wind blowing at her face as she sips her boiled tea on some foreign balcony. The streets are so beautiful, she feels like she belongs there. But does she really? To a wall or a pavement built hunderds of years ago? Can a human really belong to such things? It brings her comfort, she feels at ease. The truth is, it's just the feeling a human gets when he views a beautiful landscape or, perhaps, another beautiful human. It might be quite sad for her to acknowledge, but a human can't belong to a brick.
Does that mean it has to belong to another human?
What if she should go search for it in books, add more knowledge to her messed up brain, as if it's not overflowing already. Books can give comfort. Knowledge do too. Apart from the terrible awareness it can give you as well.
Always looking for answers, something warm to hold on to. If not human touch or connection, let it be anything else that brings warmth to her heart.
A never ending search, no rest for her soul. When will she find what she truly seeks for? Maybe it's not meant to happen.
Are things meant to happen? Or do you make them happen?
Maybe she is too afraid. Too lost. Too far gone inside her head to keep track with the real world.
Maybe one day everthing will get better. Maybe it's already fine now.
O.
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הייתי רוצה לשכפל את הDNA שלי בתור בעל חיים ולחיות איתו ועם הפאקים שלו ביחד. אולי לחקור אותו קצת על הדרך, כדי מתישהו להבין דברים על עצמי.
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