The life of the Shiuy-Man

And at the end there will only be I.
Nothing else and no-one.
And I shall judge myself, not by where I am, but by which I got there thru.
I will restate each rule I lived by,
then I will repeat.
Remember every hour, minute, second of my past life, focus mostly on the choices. And if I wasn't me, for only just one moment, I shall not die in peace, but curse myself along the way.
For each principle of mine which I have betrayed, I won't hessitate to have to lose my head.
And at the end there will only be I.
And if I keep the slightest peace of loyalty, I'd stroll down glad at the side of my head.

Oh when
Oh how
Oh WHY did I become a realist?

why