I'm sorry in advance - this entire letter is going to be in English. I don't know why, but I find it easier to say some things in English rather than in Hebrew, and for some reason, right now I just seem to be unable to put words together in my native tongue.

I was just thinking to myself... Remember what you'd asked me about standing out and staying down? You know, that question - when should you stand out and be different, and when should you keep your head down and just be like everyone else? Well, I thought to myself, when you'd first asked me that, that you cannot just be like everyone else, never. But then a while later I realized what you meant and thought, okay, well, it's okay to not speak up sometimes as long as you keep your thoughts and feelings real to who and what you are. Sometimes it's really better not to speak up. And like you said (and your brother, actually), I can't change mankind. Not now, not ever. Some things are better not be said.

Today... you might have heard about it already, I'm not sure - today I've had this little meeting with a couple of teachers. Med teachers. They said I should stop being critical and just respect everyone who's older than me. I told them that's not true, I should be polite to everyone older than me, but I don't have to respect anyone, but they refused to get it and demanded respect.

Now, I can't give respect to people who haven't earned it. Everyone deserves some minimal respect, I agree, but people who have proven to believe in all sorts of racist and idiotic crap (like saying mentally ill are insane), cannot be respected. I don't think they even deserve to be regarded as human. Because this is not human, not at all. Mankind has these beautiful abilities to create peace and just society, to be compassionate and give everyone a fair chance, but people who don't use them might as well be nothing.

And I honestly believe that. I honestly believe that people should learn to get criticism from everyone and anyone, including teachers, and that nobody has to right to tell me to shut up and leave it. If somebody's saying something that's wrong, it is every student's duty to correct it, even if it is a teacher and even if it's God that's speaking.

And being told to shut up and respect her... That's just not going to work. And somehow, I find myself in war with this bloody school (Can't understand why you're so proud to be working here), again. In the who-knows-how-much time, after 9 years in which I've never had any fight with the school.

Interesting, eh?

It's just... it makes me wonder how you made it. If we are different the way we are, if we see all that others don't see, does that mean our lives are destined to be filled with battles? With unnecessary, stupid battles? I know I've asked you once and you'd agreed that it's harder to respect the society because of that, and I know you think we should make a difference because we can, but does that mean fighting with everyone in every step of the way? I mean, it can't mean it - you obviously don't fight with people as often as I do this year. But how do you do that? How did you do it my age, when you finally found the way to fit in?

I'm just... I honestly don't know how to handle the whole thing. I may have burst a bit too soon, and I think that's my biggest problem and probably the biggest difference between you and me, but if I keep holding everything I feel as if I might explode. And I know you believe in speaking. I know you believe in explaining, calmly, what's wrong. But sometimes I just can't stop myself.

Or maybe that's the problem, you know? Not that I burst too soon, but that I speak too late.

I just... wonder how you handled and still handling this human nonsense.

Gosh, I wish I could ask you.