behind every selfless act - there is a selfish reason

i don't know why, but i feel the need to write to you.
you are in your home right now, probably getting ready for bed, not thinking of me.
i just want you to know... that i'm not angry with you. i just love you.
as simply and as quietly as possible.
your face shines in my mind as a beacon directing me and guiding me along.
i feel alone, now.. for the first time in a long time.. i feel alone as i climb into my bed, wishing you were here next to me. i keep looking at you.. sneaking looks.. hidden looks...
yesterday i kept noticing you sneaking looks at me to.
do we have hope?
probably not.
but i still love you.
you make me smile. you make me feel hopefull.
so thanks.
i will never forget you, and i always will have a place for you in my heart.
i'd take you.. if you came to me.
good night, my sweet love