wait i can actually use hebrew now.....
hurray! (not realy, in this month i have totaly forgotten how to use it, and i am too lazy to make the effort)
you know thouse dreams, that are soo realistic that u can't belive are true, yet keep on holding on?
well i didnt had one tonight.
or did i??!! (tam tam tam)
and now after making myself soo exited about this, i wish to get all this shit out, coz soon i need to drag my lousy ass home, and it is not quite mutual to feel selfeshly odd+creepey+bad when ur in a realationship.
i know that no one belives me, yet i am not a fan of doing what is pleasing when it comes with an impact on the ppl i love (surprise!!)
and it is not from the matter of:"i like doing what is right" that is just gay- never trust a person who a reasonable desition by consulting the "world largest guide for reasonable desitions" (or may be coz im just too lazy and impatient to read stuff when i can just use my brain that is automatic energy-low rate calculator for all being)
i just choose not to let others pay for stuff i want.
i lost more weight, now im 42, i dont like it, i loose more and more muscle tissues, yet im not that worried, i bet till i get to 40, i will be on my way in gettin it back. (wich is ok.....i am 155cm charismatic)
now b4 i loose the point again;
what im trying to say is:
its hard to fight yourself, to overcome mental states, desires, urges, while keeping on living, being OK, function well and bring faith into yourself and others, all of the time, and sometimes it is tiering, exhausting and seems silly, sometimes u just wanna sleep for ever, quit or at least not to live anymore, just to stop existing for a while, but hey, thats me, thats my life, and its like a job, i do it for long time, i tried to quit it, but i coudnt, i like it, and i dont see myself doing something else.....
so in this semi-optemistic note i shall say: wow friday, i remember having plans for friday!!! exiting!!!!
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