I remember them
thouse days i used to open my thorax in public, without anybody notecing me.
crack the bone and pour all out to the wind, to the sound of violin.
pick the wounds and live it all like it have never happen before.
when sadness wasnt bad and happyness was a side effect.
when my mind was wondering in the wind and ppl were bright as light.
when it wasnt cold outside coz i was burning from the inside.
when i could have live hundreds of faces and nobody would even know.
when i was warming up in the sun like a little fag, and nobody would doubt my sexuality.
its all gone.
i no longer feel
i try
i wish
but no success
its all empty inside
i wash my brain with music and memories
with pain and surrow
with joy and simplisity
but i dont realy feel, my reactions are natural, fake, i dont realy feel a thing i just act like i do.
i wake up
i stare at the white screen, i check mail, horoscope, drink coffee, say hi to ppl i know, but i dont remember a thing. i dont know what is written in the horoscope.
i dont know who i said hi to today.
what are the pictures i had in my head.
i go to work.
from 12-8
i get back home
i stare at the white screen
i check my mail, i dont remember even what it is all about.
i sit and edit the same sketch of the same charachter on the same Freehand editor, i never save it, and i always do it just so i will have something to do.
i brush my teeth, i wash my face.
i go to sleep
i smoke the b4 sleep cigarette
i try to fall asleep.
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep
i wake up in the morning
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i drink coffee
i go to work
i go back
i stare at the white screen
i read mail
i edit the same picture again and again
i wash my face
i smoke a bedtime cigarette
i go to sleep...
....
....
....
....
....
....
im ok
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