I aced the presentation of our paper. I stuttered, but it wasn't anything serious. The other girls, however, made horrible blunders. It was embarrassing; but at least they weren't on my teams (and if they were, they didn't make huge blunders. Though I was more embarrassed by the terrible Hebrew errors everyone had made).
So in the end the audience (which consisted of parents, some teachers, lots of students from Beit Berl, and a few students who were friends of the girls) asked us questions, which we pretty much answered in randomly taken turns. They asked us about the process of our work, about how we got into it, &c. I answered only one question, because I'm always very aloof and was basically just doing as I was told (when I was aware of what I was told...). Some Arabic student asked us if we intend to go on learning Arabic (one of the hardest languages in the world) or use it later on in life, and I answered, 'I don't know about the other girls, but I find the Arabic literature I've had the chance to see very beautiful, especially Mahmúd Darwísh and Zakariyya Támir. So even if I don't learn Arabic later on, I would still be very delighted to open the occasional book in Arabic.' (It was said thus, only with a cæsura; she just had to comment on my excellent accent. This was just a prelude.) The principal started asking questions like, 'Do you think you benefited from the work?' or, 'Do you think this process is more fruitful than a normal bagrut course?'
After the presentation, my teacher decided to drag me between groups of students for them to compliment on my accent, which is, according to them, perfect. It was a nuisance; they really embarrassed me, and they kept saying I can be like Tsvi Yekhezkeli or Ehud Ya'ari... I wanted to say something very crude so they'd get offended and leave me alone, like, 'When are you going to start working on your horrible Hebrew accent?' I did tell them I want to be a writer, but not that I find Russian far more interesting. However, I did tell one non-Arab guest who said that I'm 'always welcomed in the village' that the pastoral town in Ireland speaks to me much more.
So aye, I did enjoy the attention, but the excess really annoyed me. Plus, I think I'm going to become a myth for everyone to hate, as has been the case with the students who finished last year during the whole process this year. (The other girls told me their parents kept talking about me afterwards. How I hate it when stupid parents and teachers turn their children/students against one another so tactlessly!)
So today I came to the test, nearly completely unprepared. Our teacher told us the external tester, O―, is very thorough and asks about anything that has appeared in the paper, including side notes and minor details. So I decided to go with the strategy that has so far proven itself worthy: demonstrating my good command of Arabic and blabbering about anything, regardless of relevance, so she be impressed and leave me alone. And it has this time as well.
However, my classmates were not as fortunate as I was, and were terribly baffled by her questions. She kept saying, 'You wrote the paper! Aren't you supposed to know this?' One of the girls in my group (the same one who couldn't read the text during rehearsal, she will now be referred to as R―) shivered nervously and could barely answer her questions, and cried her eyes out after the test (I don't blame her, I blame the idiot who decided a girl who hasn't learned the basics in Arabic can keep up with our school's very high standards in Arabic). I was a bit discontent, because I wanted to her to ask me about my identity (a question which came up when we prepared for the test). It could've been fun; I would've said I'm a poet, an atheist, and a Ukrainian, and one day I shall be Irish as well. This would've taken a lot of time from the test (due to a long discussion that would've been created), and would've perhaps been easier on the girls.
After the test, I came to the tester, who is, by the way, Russian (and yet speaks Arabic like a genuine Arab). Last time she visited us I asked her why would a Russian find interest in Arabic (O―: Why not?), and my teacher scolded me for the question. So I apologised for the question (in Russian), and explained to her that other people don't understand why I want to learn Irish. She answered in Russian, and said she just like languages, whether it be Arabic or Russian. (I was worried I'd find out she isn't fond of the Russian culture, as many Russians her age living in Israel do.) It was impressive to hear someone sound so native in Hebrew, Arabic, and now Russian.
A little after 12:00, the teacher came with our marks. Our group went first, because R― had to leave the earliest. We got a 96 on the written paper itself, and I got a 100 on the test, so my final mark is 98. The teacher said I could do better, and that on the next paper I'll be more aware of what's going on and be able to get a round 100. R― got a reasonable final mark, but not in our school's standards. The teacher says it's alright, but she can do better. The third girl in our group got a very good mark; she isn't a real ace in Arabic, but she's very responsible and speaks it alright. She's competition... (Just kidding.)
I called my mother afterwards and told her the big news, and she was very, very happy and proud. I told a friend of mine, and she was mildly excited, but had to prepare for a test in chemistry. So I just walked back home.
I read Meir Shalev's column in Yedi'ot Akhronot's Saturday Extra. He commented on an IDF attack on an UNRAA school, doubting the IDF's judgement and true ability to locate targets. 'If the IDF has such a keen eye, how didn't it notice the hundreds of civilians who were hiding there?'
I was outraged. How dare he! Does he think he knows better than the IDF's intelligence?! Than the commanders who gave the order?! Than the soldiers who actually see the area?! I've had quite enough with all those delusional left-wingers who oppose to war without proposing an alternative, and decide to make peace with the civilians who are held by the balls by the terrorists organisations without getting rid of the terrorist organisation! How dare all these people speak out of such ignorance?! They are no better than the hypocrits in Europe and Australia!
And then I stopped to think. I don't know much about the case myself. Meir Shalev stated hundreds of civilians were killed; can that be truly justified? Besides, the IDF has done many horrible mistakes in the past (Such as the Kafr Qásim massacre), and it often tried to hush it as much as possible (which was an awful failure in the Kafr Qásim case). How do I know this wasn't the case this time? But on the other hand, the IDF has made huge progress since then...
I don't know. Maybe something inside me wants to keep hold of at least one myth, one good belief, that the IDF is more moral than other military forces. When I simulate an argument between myself and some ignorant hypocrite about the IDF, I find myself becoming very enraged, but also trying very hard not to say that Israel is my country. But this will most likely pass, same way my affection for Communists faded away after I stopped being a Communist.
Mind you, I still support the war in Gaza. It's vital, and the Hamas is losing miserably. The only thing I'm opposed to is doing it immorally.
In related news, I spoke to KingSnake (winner of Bezeq's internet service's Best Young Blogger award) about the war in Gaza.
He said he is opposed to it, so I asked him what does he think is an alternative. He said that a Palestinian state should be founded as a first step, and then all the details are to be taken care of.
I asked him within which borders, and he said the '48 borders. I told him this has been attempted once, and had to result in the 1948 Palestinian Exodus.
I asked him what makes him think the newly found state, which would have to be run by the Hamas, won't get too uppity and try conquering Israel. He said the Palestinians' support of Hamas would drastically once a state is founded.
I reminded him of Hitler, and how everyone thought he would calm down once he got actual power to lose. I made a little comparison between Hamas and the Nazi party―they gained power 'democratically', they have an insane ideology which includes eliminating all the Jews in the area, gaining more Lebensraum, attempting to make the entire world succumb to their ideology and even conquer it (they've said so many times on their media), but he seemed to be so used to comparing Israel to Nazis he thought that's what I'd said. I told him to learn to read, and repeated my comparison.
So I asked him again what makes him think they won't try to attack once they see violence gets them what they want, and he turned silent. I tried asking him again, and no response. I tried again today (the discussion was two days ago), and nothing. But he still has 'Get out of Gaza!' written on his Personal Message on the Messenger.
This was a very unpleasant surprise. KingSnake had hitherto gave me the impression of a very bright young lad with keen introspect. He's not the kind to mechanically following a party line. This blind protest against anything the IDF does has become absolutely absurd.
Left-wingers, and especially the idiots who wrote Getting Out (a poetry book which was published a week after the war started, including very bad poetry protesting very badly against the war), GROW THE FUCK UP.
Bean Pháidín is a very catchy song. I already know most of the lyrics by heart. It gave me inspiration for my next artistic project that will be part of our mark in our next huge group paper in Arabic: writing and singing an Arabic Sean-nós song. I already translated it to Hebrew.
Next song I absolutely must learn: Róisín Dubh!
M. N., I can't get you out of my head. It's annoying. And you're a liar; you deny shamelessly your feelings for me. Tough luck; I shan't accept you back if you crawl and beg.
Just admit you won't talk to me because you haven't gotten over me. That you really loved me, but you were too lazy to do anything about it. I found our song, I gave us both pet names to use, I wanted to save up and come see you, I did everything. Now I pity your poor Doppelgänger for having to drag you about in your relationship.
Kot, why am I still writing about him here? Fluffy is dead and buried, and I never want to hear about him again.
If you don't like MSNM, you can always reach me through my e-mail address, you know. It's the same as my MSNM one. I'm still waiting for my mysterious visitor to make contact.
In the next few days I shall most likely be very busy and won't be able to be on the computer for very long, or very often. I apologise in advance to anyone who will wonder where I am. (And in case you wonder and don't read this blog: tough luck, deal with being too lazy to read.)
Unum diem...
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