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הוסף מסר

9/2008

Un piccolo intermezzo: 'Warum bin ich hier'


  A little theory about how I got to Israel:

 

  You know the Talmud (if I remember correctly) says the soul chooses to be Jewish or not? Anyway, it does. So, according to my theory, I sat in front of the computer, way up in Heaven, and it said, 'Select country of choice: [here came an alphabetic list of all countries, including those which were only going to get independence]'.

  I clicked on the list, scrolling down to the I section, looking for Ireland. I was going to click it, when suddenly...

  'BOO!'

  Some bloody git decided to startle me, making me scroll down past the Isle of Man, and clicking on the country alphabetically following it: Israel.

 

  So now I'm stuck in a country I feel like a foreigner in. I lost track of the times I thought, 'I don't belong here.' Most people here don't think like me: they don't get sarcasm, for one. The education here is terrible (it might differ a bit from school to school, but ultimately, everyone has to listen to the capricious, cheap, stupid, cowardly Ministry of Education), which is something I won't tolerate. Everyone here talks all the time about the importance of a Jewish heritage and all that shite, and don't realise how harmful it is (how many Jews do you know who were both influential to the world and religious Jews? Maïmonides and Agnon don't count, because very few people actually know who they were. And Maïmonides was a disgrace to mathematics).

  Not that there aren't any good sides. It is democratic, it doesn't suffer from the terrible air pollution in many cities in Europe (even Tel-Aviv isn't as polluted as Zürich or Luxembourg), it becomes more tolerant throughout the years, it has amazing cinema, et cetera. But compare it to Germany, for instance: Israel has a very long way to go, and I highly doubt it will go in it (especially when all these cowards at the Kneset sucking up to Shas and cancelling advances in pro-LGBT legistlation, and in this increasingly-religious age).

 

  I want out. I want to be in Ireland. And if Ireland fail, Germany will certainly do. And if it fail, San-Francisco will do (the occasional earthquake is certainly tolerable when the extreme liberalism and the front of modern art are taken into account). I don't belong here; I never have.

 

  So, who's coming with me?

 

  (EDIT: The theory was written solely for comic effect. I am a strict atheist.)

נכתב על ידי , 26/9/2008 22:58  
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תגובה אחרונה של ונוס ב-27/9/2008 14:32



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