It felt good to be held, to be loved. At times I even thought I'd be saved from that hollow place in me, that place that kept me down in a pit and hurt all along. But can I really escape from something that is inside me? Something that is an unhealthy part of me?
I know, I know - I need to take the bad things in my life and make the best of them, or make them go away, but what if I can't get rid of the bad? What if it's inside me, part of who I am?
Guess I'm screwed then.. Shit.
But it did feel good. To be held. One last time, perhaps?
This is a first of so many.
It's not the first time I've been hurt over something so littlle. It's not going to be the last time, but I still haven't learn to deal with the pain, thosh feeling tracing inside my reckless brain.
...
I don't think asking not to feel alone anymore is much to ask. I hope my future'll compensate for it, but I really doubt it.
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