You know, the second part of last week was somewhat scary.

So Tuesday was actually the first time since the beginning of the month that I had that urge to write to you. To be honest, it was a bit scary and a lot silly, and it started those insane couple of days in which I was half-depressed and half-hypomanic. And then I caught up on Saving Hope (that's Michael's new show. I'm pretty sure I already mentioned it), and that brought me to a somewhat surreal Saturday.

And, in case you were wondering, that's the reason I'm writing in English. I just feel it'd be a bit easier for me, and your English is great, so I guess that won't be a problem.

I'm not gonna say much about Tuesday, since it was plain insane and I sort of figured the reasons for that, I assume. All I'm gonna say is that analyzing Tuesday and all that's happened that day (and the way it drove me insane on Wednesday) made me realize how scared I am to lose what I still have with you. Don't get me wrong – I don't stop myself when I'm talking to you anymore, and I just rarely stop myself from coming at all, and I am satisfied by how things look like, but I guess in my subconscious I'm still afraid to make another mistake. I suppose that's mainly because I still haven't forgiven myself for the mistakes I made back then. That's silly, I know.

And then catching up on Saving Hope… well, it was somewhat hard. Because in the last episode I watched, about a month and a half ago, Charlie (that's Michael) broke up with Alex (Erica Durance – I think she was in Smallvile), and it wouldn't have mattered this much if they weren't always saying all these stuff that you and I said to each other last February. And you know, I don't think about it anymore, and it doesn't really bother me (other than me not forgiving myself), but watching that onscreen, played out by my favorite actor, who happens to be one of the reasons we got talking and the only actor who can make me cry… You know, that's something. (Yeah, but he's something.)

But that's all behind me. That's behind me because I have so many good things in my life right now, like university, and friends, and MIG, and you, and family, and anticipation and excitement. February was insane in a way no month had been since… well, last February, actually. I did the math Bagrut (was fantastic. So easy! MIG and I were so happy about that, we actually finished each other's sentences about it), I met up with friends from the university, I went to a psychology conference (!), I argued with my lecturer in uni until he agreed with me (HA!), I felt insane for a while (lucky I had MIG to help me there<3), and I learned tons of new material in psychology. Well, and I suppose the rest you know, since we got to talk quite a lot this month.

Remember that after the semester ended I came to talk to you about psychology and me being sad about leaving? What I was trying to say that day, other than consulting, is that I actually managed to connect with people in the first time in a few years. Which is really exciting, and had I started uni last year, that wouldn't have happened. So about a week or so after the semester was over I actually met up with a couple of friends (one of them is taking Social with me) and we sat down and "studied" for a few hours. The general idea was to learn – in reality, we mostly talked. And that was fantastic. I don't remember when the last time I made friends in real life was.

And then I went to this awesome psychology conference about BPD. I missed the second day, which was a shame, but I did get to hear a couple of lectures about possible treatments. Obviously I'm interested in that from the clinical viewpoint, as I still consider being a clinical psychologist, but it was also interesting from my viewpoint, as I honestly think I can use everything I learn in order to become better. I heard the lecture about DBT, and I actually found it really interesting how much of an instinctive psychologists we are. We really do love that because of that, don't we?

And you know, Canada won the gold in hockey in the Winter Olympics, which made me quite happy, and the semester starts today, which means I'll probably find you on Tuesday to tell you about Social and Cognitive, and I've got some awesome stuff waiting for me, and I'm just happy.

So yeah, to answer your question… I'm good. Great, even. This day certainly started off well. :-)

Take care of yourself, you. You got me a tad worried this weekend.

Ann.

And in case you were wondering, I'm slightly off these last couple of weeks, and I can't really stop my mind. But that's still okay, I guess. Probably somewhat exciting.