There is no other way to say that. Thank you. Thank you for coming all this way just to meet us. Thank you for talking to us, despite the fact you sounded so terrible. Thank you for doing all that you do, for being so nice and amazing and generally a fantastic person.
Thank you.
I'll admit it, when I first heard about this, I knew I'm going to be there. I didn't mind if I'll have to be going on foot or how much I'm gonna need to pay for this. I knew... I know that I'd be working as much as I need to in order to get there, and the hell with everything else.
When we flew over to Chicago, I had serious doubts about it. I hoped I can still make it, and if I can't, that I can at least get to another one of these. I knew there are a few of those this coming months, and I knew I'll get to one of them. But I was hoping it'll be this one, even though it's so close.
And it was.
And I got there.
And I talked with you.
These past months... They weren't easy for me. Having to deal with so much, especially with that thing, and that other thing that's floating in my mind since I'm a little child... it wasn't easy, not at all. More than once I thought I was gonna fall, that I simply can't take that anymore. There is, after all, only so much one person can take. She proved that to me. But she also got me stronger, reminded me to stay strong, no matter how much it hurt. She did.
And so I was hoping that once I'll get to meet you... Well, I was hoping everything'll be better. I was hoping I could tell you everything, and that things will be different. I had to tell you this. I had to see you. I had to meet you in person, even more than with everyone else.
I'll be honest, I don't remember much. I was so nervous, in my head repeating again and again on the words I wanted to say for so long. I knew it won't go as planned - It never does, not with me, being an extremely shy person - but I was hoping I can at least get the order to speak stuck inside my head, so that I won't have a choice but to speak. During that time I didn't have that song in my head - I practically had nothing in my head - but before coming I thought about "What Hurts The Most". And I just couldn't let that happen. Not with you.
I remember what was said, and I remember you liked the pic and my name. I remember forgetting to show the paper with my name again and feeling extremely stupid about this. I remember talking about me being a high school student, and me coming from Israel. But most of all, I remember finally saying what I wanted to say.
I remember thanking you for her. I remember telling you she's my inspiration, my hero. I remember how excited I was, how nervous, how I could barely speak, thinking it was a wonder I actually managed to say that. It was while you signed on the second pic, and you told me that you're so grateful for the responses you keep getting. We shook hands.
Then my time was pretty much over. Which was a shame. I could stand there and talk forever. Or rather, it would take forever until I'd manage to get the words in the right order. But it didn't matter. You told me to take care and safe journey back home. I was so excited about the fact that I actually talked with you that I forgot about anything else - Including the fact that you were sick, and how terrible you sounded. I replied "you too", trying to say you need it much more than I do.
And then I walked away, barely daring to think about this moment until I'm out, not wanting to fall while still inside. I won't be lying if I say my heart had never beat so fast before.
This, honestly, was the best part of this weekend. This was the most amazing thing in my life. Seeing you so much, talking with you, no matter how briefly, in the Photoshoot, and of course, the best thing- having a conversation in the Autographs Session... That meant so much to me, no one can even start to imagine.
And it changed me. It helps. And I hope... I know it'll continue to do so.
So Thank You. For everything.
Ann.
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בכל הבלוגים
כינוי:
The Oncoming Storm